So just like that, six weeks have flown by and I’m already on the JetBlue flight back to the US. I am still in shock and denial (my best coping technique) that I had to say see you later as it feels like I was just on the journey down here. These six weeks – where it’s gone by in the blink of an eye while also seems like it’s been a lifetime – have been the most incredibly exciting, challenging, joyful, exhausting, love-filled weeks of my life. As the summer progressed, with infinite memories being made, I knew this last day would be difficult. What I didn’t expect was how heart-warming yet gut-wrenching it actually would be. I’ve said from the beginning I was going into this trip with no expectations, as “It’s Haiti” means you’re always left shaking your head with a confused grin. But I will say I never expected the raw emotions I have witnessed and experienced this summer.

Group leaders always end the last night’s reflection with some form of “What has Haiti taught you? And what are you going to take back from Haiti?” Being lucky enough to have sat in on plenty of reflections throughout my time here, I’ve always had this in the back of my mind. Granted, after last night, I really liked it more when I was saying “I stay” and “see you tomorrow” to the kids. But I’ve been able to have this reflection time each week throughout this entire journey to think about these questions. I mentioned last week that Cherylann and Len have shared with me that “We came to help Haiti, but Haiti helped us.” It’s hard to put into words the magic that you experience in the Shining B that acts as a lighthouse for Grand Goave. It’s a raw, genuine, unconditional love that greets you in suffocating hugs, noisy giggles (and some tears), dancing, singing, and “I Love Yous.”

It’s 66 amazingly different, loving, unique, confident children that have been given the opportunity to chase their dreams, follow their hearts, and create their own path for life because of the foundation that is being laid by an incredible group of leaders, caregivers, and people that care. The interactions I’ve witnessed with children, staff, and community members – they exude love at its purest. There is an environment in Be Like Brit where a hand is always being outreached – whether that be to gleefully congratulate someone’s accomplishment, to help wipe away tears if emotions come up, to help brush off a scraped elbow or knee, and to just say and impromptu “I Love You.”

So what has Haiti taught me? The list literally could go on forever (and ever and ever), but if I had to sum it up into a few I think this is what I would say. Everyone can be a leader, as it only takes a smile and outreached hand to form a lifelong connection. Telling someone “you matter” and “I’m proud of you” not only brings an ear-to-ear grin, but also encourages them to keep striving outside of their comfort zone. This summer I worked with the children teaching fitness in the morning, introducing new sports, and just playing with these little balls of energy (ya, I know, Mami Love always said “How do you have this much energy?” I’m like… have you seen these kids? This is nothing!). It’s hard to see when change is being made when you are constantly immersed in the hustle and bustle of activity after activity. Sure, I was now playing soccer with the boys (and seeing a whole lot more teamwork, passing and assists), basketball and volleyball with the girls, kids were begging to play afternoon field hockey games, tennis matches and running American Football routes (yes, ok what exactly qualifies this 5’3”girl to be a football, soccer, volleyball, basketball, tennis coach… but hey, “It’s Haiti!”).

I don’t think it really hit me until I took a moment Thursday to just go up on the roof for a minute to look down (and also to quickly catch my breath after I got sucked into interval training on the track with Dotchley, Mackenson, Malorie and Kervens constantly yelling: “corri” (run) and “mache” (walk) through smiles and giggles since they only joined in for a few) at all of the organized chaos going on. It was the children’s free time – and here they were, voluntarily choosing to go outside underneath the blazing afternoon Haitian sun to play new sports other than soccer with their friends. Girls and boys, from 6-year old Malorie to teenage Venitte, shy Magdaline and Marie Cassandre to sports-fanatic Ginaldo, Loobens and Dave, were playing and there was a place for everyone to compete. I have always been a firm believer that sports provide an incredible foundation for self-confidence, teamwork, and being a leader. A leader doesn’t always have to be the vocal instructor – telling you what to do and when to do. Rather, the most influential ones are the ones that hold your hand and goes through the journey with you. Because when you are there, taking every step of the way together, you build trust, bonds and can encourage each other to keep moving forward in the future.

I am thankful beyond words for how each 66 of these children, in addition to the caregivers and staff that work in BLB, have been a leader for me: someone I look to in admiration to see what type of person I want to strive to be. There is so much innocence in the genuine interest they take to ask you questions (sometimes as blunt as “Why do you do that?” or “Why do you have hard arms and legs?” – direct quote I promise – and as genuine as “What are your dreams?” and “Why do you love Haiti?”). Or how they watch you do something you’re passionate about and spend so much time determined to do it themselves. But I’ve learned that everything they do – from running, to dancing, to playing fun pick-up basketball, to nightly cuddles – is so meaningful because it comes from their big hearts that have no hidden intentions. They just want to love and be loved. That’s it. And isn’t that what everyone wants? They want to show you they care in a way that you will understand. I’ve seen it through bracelets, crafts and hugs. And this summer, I’ve seen it on the Field of Hope (fitting name, right?), where kids who used to break themselves up into boys and girls, athletes and non-athletes, now come together and see they can all play sports, all have a niche they can be confident in, and seeing there’s nothing wrong with being strong.

I told the kids I am so appreciative of them welcoming me with (mostly) open arms, embracing this crazy blanc and her idea of fun being running, sweating out our body weight everyday, and playing new sports, and sending me off with hugs that wouldn’t let go. Last night, as tears were being shed and hugs being exchanged, I heard from the kids how this summer wasn’t just life changing to me, but I guess things clicked with them too. Looking at me and innocently asking “Why do you have to leave?” and saying “Can we do summer camp again next year?!” I didn’t realize the power a hand, a ball, and a smile could have.

But the biggest thing Haiti has taught me is the importance of when you feel something, or have been touched and moved by something or someone, saying something immediately. Brit did this, and like the leader I can imagine her being, she didn’t even wait 24 hours to do so. You never know the impact a little observation, conversation, text, call, encouragement or hug can have, acting as a shining light for others. That’s what I am taking back with me.

I want to thank the amazing children, Gengel family, Mami Love, my Haitian co-workers, community, Britsionairies, new friends and country I’ve been lucky enough to bring into my life. I also want to say screw you guys for contributing to a piece of my heart breaking today as I had to trek back down the hill, through market day traffic (where I had momentary relief from heart-break as it was replaced by incredible car sickness), long airport security lines, onto a plane I really had mixed emotions about getting on. But like Aunt Holly told me, loving so pure and so deep also comes with deep pain since anything that can bring you pain has brought you pleasure. Plus, unfortunately (lol just kidding), Haiti is now my home and where part of my family lives, so I’ll be back soon, and like I told the kids last night – Coach Devan will be back, with new sports, more running and plenty of burpees!!

-Devan